I found a seventeen year old notebook today, about half full of poems and quotes in my own younger handwriting (better handwriting) that I clearly wanted to remember or keep. One was the Baudelaire quote that’s the title here – folly, error, vice greed, and no note to self why I wanted to save that. I still like quite a lot of them, which either means I had good taste then or I’ve not developed a better one. Some embarrassments I shouldn’t share. Some I know aren’t great but I like anyway. Some I remember writing down – when I found the HD poem’Choros from Morpheus’ I could remember the slightly musty paperback I found it in, the bed at my aunt’s I was sitting in as I transcribed it, and I’m pretty sure the wintry sun shining on the page as I did. Others I don’t recall at all, but I’m happy to rediscover Allison Eir Jenks’ Heaven, which you can find here if you’ve got login privileges.
This also is in there, from Martin Millar’s Ruby and the Stone Age Diet:
We disappear into our separate rooms and I get back to staring at my pot plant. I had considered writing a poem but now I don’t feel much like it because with Ruby in such a bad mood I will have no-one to show it to. But this is probably just as well, because I am a terrible poet.
I think copying that means I was having a low self esteem day.